Not My Life to Live but His

I knew the Son, he was alive in me

but it wasn't until I saw the Father

When I saw He sent His son for me

When he covered me with his grace

And said, "I won't leave a trace"

I grew more in love with my Heavenly Father,

Living by His name and not mine.

It was then when I saw the Holy Spirit

I almost couldn't believe.....

The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit

present and working in me.

I was so excited, so ALIVE IN HIM.

Following Christ, being obedient,

and a storm began to brew

Mark 4:35-41

The disciples following Jesus

scared out of their minds in the storm of life

cried out asking if he cared!?

Jesus showed weakness in the flesh,

he understands our struggles!

So even when I stray

The shepherd will always say

"Come back to me my child,

don't be a prodigal son,

But if you must, know that I am near

Waiting with arms open wide

ready to embrace you."

But when life's got you down

don't walk around and frown

God takes us through the dreary

Letting us experience the weary...

Galatians 6:9

Let us not become weary in doing good,

for the proper time we will reap a harvest

if we do not give up.

God's word gives me hope

Show's me I'm not alone in my weary

I need to pick my head up

Think not of my self but...

Hebrews 12:3

Consider him who endured such opposition

from sinful men, so that you

will not grow weary and lose heart.

And in my weariness I shall not lose heart.

But keep up with the holiness

and live life for my Savior

Being a witness to those around me

I pray they see God and not this flesh

Because I know, I'm just a mess.

Hebrews 12:14

Make every effort to live in peace

with all men and to be holy;

without holiness no one will

see the Lord.

I'm at the end of my attempted rhyme

sitting here knowing that

My God is Faithful

And He loves me in my mess.

Thankful to be sinking in His Grace

Because if grace is an ocean we're all sinking

So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss 

and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets 

when I think about the way

That He Loves ME!

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DZuraJpB0OJg%26sns%3Dem&h=IAQGlQZ7FAQH2EdHyFWTCKkrRv4jbduiT5uU4XiwqyotVZA
This is the link that goes with the previous post. I keep going to it for encouragement!

Drenched in Proverbs 31...

Proverbs 31:10-31
^{10 [a]}A wife of noble character who can find?
   She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
   and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
   all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
   and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
   bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
   she provides food for her family
   and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
   out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
   her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
   and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
   and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
   and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
   for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
   she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
   where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
   and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
   but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
   and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

I will wait for you...

This is from the cry from a woman's heart, lessons learned and hearts broken.  This is the most beautiful way I have ever seen what "WE" are waiting for.  Ladies, this is the type of man God wants us to wait for, not to try out every sample on the desert bar.  And this also describes the type of woman we should strive to be. Enjoy!

 (The following is not original, but phenomenal in the least!)

I will wait for you…

And I will know you…because when you speak,

I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom,

Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses,

Your faith will remind me of Abraham,

Your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel,

Your inspiration will remind me of Paul,

Your heart for God will remind me of David,

Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah,

Your integrity will remind me of Joseph,

And your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples,

But Your ability to love selflessly and unconditionally will remind me of CHRIST.

But I won’t need to identify you by any special Matthews or any special Marks,

Cause His Word will be tattooed all over your heart.

And you will know me, and you will find me,

Where the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth,

Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary,

Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hannah.

I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31 … waiting for you.

But to my Father,

my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth.

Only if You should see fit, I desire Your will above mine,

So even if you call me to a life of singleness,

My heart is content with YOU – the One who was sent.

YOU are the greatest love story ever told,

The greatest love ever known

You are forever my judge and I’m forever Your witness

And I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business

I will always be Yours!

And I will always wait for You Lord,

More than the watchmen wait for the morning…

I will wait.

 

Seguir: To Follow

Following isn't easy.

In the past when I have taken dance class or tried to ballroom dance with someone I always try to take the lead into my own hands. And if you know anything about partner dancing it is the Man's job to lead.  He uses slight arm gestures and discrete hand turns to move the female around the dancefloor. 

As I was Salsa dancing the other night with Tio My (an "uncle" from the church) I realized just how hard of I time I had and have with allowing someone else to guide my life and my actions.  I had started to catch on fairly well to the dance, and then Tio My stopped in the middle of the song and said, "Tu piensas mucho. No Piensas! Baila!" (You think too much. Don't think, dance.)

Don't think? So I tried it.  I allowed my hands and arms to relax, I let myself feel the music. It was then that I noticed the slight turns of the wrist and arm that were intended for me to feel to know which way I was going to be sent next.

This is where I'm at, learning to wait for God to send me in his directions and not my own. It's easier just to give him my hand and wait for his moves rather than to fight against the rhythm of his love for me.

June 29, 2011

Baptisms, Blessings and Julito

Jesus was persecuted by the priests because he chose to eat with the tax collectors, talk with prostitutes, lepers and bum around with fishermen. He provided hope for the hopeless. He was loved and hated. He was a rebel. HE chose to do what was good and right and just. He died on the cross for me and for you.  He set the example of the life we are to live. 

WE were NOT meant to Just Sit in church services Sunday and Wednesday. You may say, I'm not supposed to be a missionary, I can't reach people, I'm not made for that. But YOU ARE! Every Day you live and breathe is for the Lord! The one who created the universe, and came to earth to DIE for YOU.

What I'm saying is just let each day be for the Lord. Let him guide you. When he is tugging at you to go visit your neighbor or speak to the person in line at the grocery store, don't ignore him! You just might be that persons saving grace. "That couldn't happen to me," you say? Well, I hate to break it to you - but it can and more than likely will!

"I'm not called to....." If you have ever read the bible, you have been called - you've just missed it! It may not be to "go" somewhere, we're not all called to do that. But we are called to live like Christ whose image we were created in!

Okay, Okay, Enough preaching! I say all this because God has opened my eyes. He has opened them to his love, power and mercies.  He forgives us all, for everything we have done. And when he grabs ahold of your heart there is no way to run, unless you don't want what he has to offer.

I've seen it! I am seeing God changing the life of a thief/drug-addict/seller/gang-member > Hector.  God is using the people in the church to reach out to those "types" of people.  We had a girl come to bible study tonight who is known as one of the "shadier" women here. Hector is bringing people to church....Hector is telling people about his Lord and Savior and this man that died on the cross for him. Hector has gotten the opportunity to talk to Julito, the number one in the gang.  My friend Alyssa who just left got to talk to him!

{this is really cool!}
The morning Alyssa was leaving we all went to the mural she had been working on (and is almost finished) to take pictures. Let me give a piece of background - the water tower that the mural on is gang "territory" and through the grapevine Alyssa initially had to get permission from Julito to use the water tower to paint. The one thing they all have worried about most is that he would graffiti it.
Well, when we were leaving the water tower to go get in the vans a dark sketchy lanky mid-twenties Mexican in a white wife-beater and dirty shorts walked up to us.
JULITO.
Alyssa immediately introduced herself. She told him the story of how she was afraid he was going to do something to the mural and thanked him for letting them paint there.  He said it was okay and that the mural was pretty. Alyssa asked what he thought of it and he said it was kind of like good on one side and bad on the other. This opened up the opportunity for Alyssa to share the mural and share some of the gospel with Julito.  Alyssa told us later that when they were talking he had some tears well up in his eyes. She told him she knew his friend Hector had come to know the Lord and had changed and wanted to live the Christian life. Julito acknowledged that was correct and that Hector had shared everything with him and that he could see it.

WOW! 

What is God up to! Can you see just a hint of what I'm experiencing here! Its mind boggling even.

Sunday I got to experience the baptism of 20+ people.  The process here is somewhat different than what we do. They have to go through a class for so many weeks before the baptism. Then before they are baptized they have to share with the whole church why, and the way they came to their salvation.  Many of them shared verses and none used the same! It was such a beautiful testimony time that brought glory to the Lord!  Then there was a small service explaining the reason for baptism.  Then we all gathered to the pool (at a waterpark fully in motion).  Probably 30 or more people crowded around the pool. The church leaders got in along with the ones to be baptized. And one by one each and every one publically professed their faith being baptized in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. En el nombre del Padre, el Hijo y el Espiritu Santo.  The time was ended with prayer and song....with people still in the pool. How beautiful! If you're friends with me on facebook I have pictures of the baptisms posted!

God is alive. He is moving in a people group that is open. And I am so thankful to be a part of this. To witness this first hand. And to be able to share!

These people are so eager to leave their lives of fear, rezos and sin - to live a life for Christ. And guess what, they share it with everyone!

The one who has probably showed me the transparent child like faith is Iris, 28 year old wife and mother of four.  She and her husband were both baptized on Sunday, any person she (they) meet she will tell them about her changed life, and about a life in Christ. She has been such an open witness to the people in the community!

I hope that when I return, that I can have a faith like Iris. Eager to share what my savior has done for me in my life, and can do for others!

I'm half way done with my internship, or I could say I've only half started. But either way - I know that this is where God wanted me to be this summer. 
He wanted me to see this.

He wanted me to see Him.

Humbled by how BIG my God is.....

Calma me

Calmate, Calmate, Be still and know that I am God.....

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”

Psalm 46:10

Sometimes I get so caught up in me and lose sight of how it feels to be so caught up in him.  My heart and soul yearn  to be captivated by the Lord.

" Let the king be enthralled by your beauty;
honor him, for he is your lord. " (Psalm 45:11)

  But yet so many days I don't see my beauty.  Here in Mexico my blonde hair and blue eyes stick out like a sore thumb in ways that, more often than not, are not welcome.  Yes, I can get cheaper vegetables at the market from the older men, the children point out my eyes and want to play with my hair. But I also get whistled at, offered money and looked at as though I were a lepor.
Some days I am welcomed and some days I am not.

But isn't that everywhere, even in our own culture.

I've already learned a lot from my Mexican brothers and sisters.  Valuable lessons on watching my actions. The smallest thing can happen and I will have offended someone - and be completely oblivious to it!  The expression on my face - often expressionlesss - can be taken offense by someone as well. I think that has been the hardest thing for me since I have been here.  In the past few years God has calmed my heart and my soul. I'm on a journey finding me. I know who I am. I'm confident in the Lord, and that is my strong hold.  But I am not confident in myself. Often reserved, quiet and emotionless.  I've built a shell around myself to try and protect myself from getting hurt - the problem is when that shell breaks - its going to hurt.

This person I have become - Is this who I want to be?

Sometimes panic rises inside of me because I am not content in who I am.
Calmate - Calm Down Hannah
Calmame - Lord Calm me

Maybe the Lord has brought me back into the wilderness with him (Hosea 2). This is a time of learning and learning is what I intend to do.  And all my fears I give to him.


Psalm 23

¹ The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not want. ² He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
³ He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
⁴ Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
⁵ You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
⁶ Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Idolatry

You would be amazed at the amount of Idolatry that is here in Mexico. The catholicism here is quite unique; there are statues and pictures of the Virgin Guadalupe - the "grim reeper" aka the saint of death is worshiped by over 3 million people in Mexico alone. Why? Because "she has kept me safe and blessed me; so I worship her." How morbid is that?

The catholicism here has nothing to do with Christianity - in fact Christ is formaly let out of the whole mess.  When noted he is either in a manger or on the cross - Mary gets all the spot light.  There is actually a prayer that all practicing Catholics use...God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. holy Mary, pray for us, Mother of Christ, holy Mother of God, Holy Mother of the Virgins, Mother of Divine Grace, Mother of Purity, Mother of Chastity, Mother Virgin, Good Mother, Admirable Mother, Mother of Good Counsel, Mother Redeemer, Mother Creator, Mother Savior . . . .and that is just the first half! But I stop there because I begin to get frustrated! It is obvious by this prayer alone that the Gospel is not preached.

Rezos - repitioon prayers - The Mexican and hispanic Catholics are taught repetition prayers for the different saints and Mary. Going into the catholic churches here seeing this first hand makes you see how easy it is to get caught up in tradition, family tradition, and easy repetitious lifestyles.  Seeing mothers teach their small children the rezos to the saints and watching a mother and daughter fall on their knees upon entering the shrined church of Virgin Guadalupe and crawling on their knees holding candles and saing rezos all the way to the front of the church . . . . . what is missing here??

Christ, Christ is missing!

Why is Christ missing here?

Before the 1960's evangelicals were at 2.1% and today in 2011 its been raised to 8.3% which is amazing because before the early 1990's missionaries were not legally allowed in the country. Until recently, there was little or no Chrstian media permited - today there is unprecedented freedom to spread the Gospel in Mexico. >There is a window of opportunity that has been opened up!! Praise the Lord.

But what this also means is that many communities are still without a Gospel witness! There are many areas that do not have missionaries and never have had missionaries, local believers or media, to share the truth. - Persecution of believers is a major issue in Mexico.  People are shunned from families, communities and work places.

Picture this:
World Population: 6,928,198,253
Spanish is the third most widley spoken language on earth.
About 1/3 of the world's Spanish speakers live in Mexico.
Population of Mexico: 113,724,226

Look at these top fives and see which two countries all have in common...

Most Population:          Fewest Evangelicals:          Fewest Missionaries:
#1 Mexico                     #1 Paraguay                       #1 Cuba
#2 Columbia                 #2 Uraguay                         #2 Columbia
#3 Argentina                 #3 Columbia                       #3 Argentina
#4 Peru                          #4 Mexico                          #4  Mexico
#5 Venezuela                #5 Ecuador                         #5 El Salvador

The two countries on every list -> Columbia and Mexico >>>(The only difference is that the church is growing faster in Columbia than almost any other country in the Americas, Spanish or not!)

Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God because many false prophets have gone out into the world. This is how you can recognize the spirit of God : Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God.  1 John 4:1-3

From the rest he makes a god, his idol; he bows down to it and worships. He prays to it and says, "Save me; you are my god."  Isaiah 44:17

So then, about eating food sacrificed to idols: We know that an idol is nothing at all in the world and that there is no God but one. For even if there are so-called gods. whether in heaven or on earth (as indeed there are many "gods" and many "lords"), yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live. 1 Corinthians 8:4-7

The truth, the pure Gospel is what is having to be shared and lived here for the people to see.  When families accept Christ and learn the Gospel - their WHOLE LIVES CHANGE!

I know families here who are living breathing proofs of the truth and the way the holy spirit works!

Living my life for Christ everyday is not just something to say - its a way of life - living for Christ, living in Christ, living For Christ. . . Every Day, Every Action, Every Word, Every Breath . . . .

...or the world or life or death or the present or the future - all are yours, and you are of Christ , and Christ is of God.  1 Corinthians 3:22-23

"...Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:19-20



Volcanos and Cars

Saturday morning a group of us headed out to go to Paso de Cortez (Cortez Pass) which is in between two Volcanos. It only took us a little over an hour to get there. The two volcanos are named Popocatépetl and Ixtaccíhuatl - yeah try to pronounce that! These volcanos are about 17,000 feet tall, and where we were walking and driving around were about 11,000 feet. In our group were Me, Tiffany, Alyssa, Matt, Rod, Daniel, Dylan, Robert, Brigam, Fabian, Pancho, and David. We took Rod's big van and Fabian (a new church member)'s small VW golf. Let me just begin by saying it is not an off road vehicle by any means!
The weather was beautiful, blue sky, the clearest some say it has been in months. Starting up the mountain/volcano it was a curvy paved road, much like that of home for me, but then pavement turned into dirt and gravel. We stopped and went to a waterfall to take pictures and walk around. And then we continued on the road to La Venta for quesadillas and fishing. When we got to La Venta we were all discussing what we were going to do and then Fabian walked up to us and had oil all over his hand and proceeded to tell Rod that a rock in the road had blown a hole in his oil pan! Everyone in the group was discussing what needed to be done or what plan of action to take and about that time everyone started pointing up to the volcano and there was a large plume of ash coming out of the top - not as big as the day before. The eruption was cool to see!

Rod, Fabian, Daniel (Rod's son), Pancho and Tiffany all left in the van to go find a new oil pan for Fabian's car. Daniel, Pancho and Tiffany were sent home by public transportation, just in case we all had to ride in the van! I think they left around 2 pm. Rod left Me, Alyssa, Matt, Brigam, Robert, Dylan and David all up on the mountain quite close to a very active volcano. So basically we felt a little stranded on top of a mountain for two and a half hours. While we waited for Rod and Fabian to come back, Me, Brigam, Robert and Dylan went fishing in a trout pond....aka the fish hardly had room to swim! The first cast in I caught a fish. I had to teach all the boys how to cast and even one how to fish! Daddy would be proud! With the eight fish we caught we had the restaurant cook the fish for us for lunch, sounds great right? It was really good! When Rod and Fabian returned we were all just wandering about, they got back around 4:30 or so and we then had to wait for Fabian to fix the car! Alyssa and I went on a walk along a stream and enjoyed nature and the beauty of God's creation. Around 7 pm the new oil pan was finally on the car!
Here is where the story gets good!

We started to head back down the mountain, well up about five miles and then down about twenty curvy miles. Fabian was driving in his car with Matt and Alyssa in front of the rest of us in the van. While Rod was pointing out the spots where Fabians car had leaked and the two rocks where it had busted the oil pan. When Rod pointed out the location of the first hit we saw another trail, one that was not supposed to be there, and most of us at the same time realized it was a new trail of oil coming from Fabian's car! Yes, it happened again!! So about 2 or 3 miles into the 5 miles of dirt road to the top of the mountain the car broke down! Que Horrible!! How horrible! We all got out of the van to check it out and by that time the air had cooled off and was freezing outside! Rod told the guys they might have to push the car the rest of the way up! Rod found a nylon rope with hooks in the back of the van and so he tied the van to the car and tried to pull, the line snapped. While the boys were devising a plan Alyssa and I were in the van. I prayed aloud, "God, please send someone or something our way to help us!" About 3 minutes a small pickup truck drove by and stopped. Fabian bought a strong rope from the man for about 4 dollars. If that isn't an answered prayer I dont know what is! How "random" is it that someone drove by with exactly what we needed! Once again the boys proceeded to tie the car to the van and with a great joint effort - pushed the car enough to get it going and then ran and jumped in the van! Praise God!

Going up the mountain in a van pulling a car was quite interesting! When we got to the top we untied the car, put on our seatbelts and went for possibly the wildest ride of our lives! The van went in front of the car just in case the brakes did not hold! Fabian was driving down the mountain or should I say, Riding in the Hands of God. It was a true example of faith. His car was off, out of gear and no power steering! Can you imagine? I prayed the whole way up the mountain for a rope! and the whole way down the mountain for safety and for God to drive the car! After 20/30 minutes of coasting down a very curvy, very dark narrow mountain road, the road dipped agian and we had to tie the car back to the van to get it to a point of decline. We continued down the mountain and once the road leveled out tied the vehicles back together and guided Fabian into a gas station to park it for the night. We all piled in the van and went home. We got there close to midnight, our intended goal to come back home was 6 pm...
In the long Saturday God showed us his beauty (in the waterfalls), his power (in the volcano) and his faithfulness (in the car breaking down).


As a team we have been studying the first three chapters in 1 Corinthians.
"For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength" 1 Corinthians 1:25 (pushing a car, pulling a car with a rope)
"Let him who boasts boast in the Lord." 1 Corinthians 1:31 (We did not push and pull and guide the car down the mountain! Let all the Glory be God's!!!)

Fabian's car has been fixed and we are all well - and we all have a story to tell.
God is doing great things here, not by me, not by the team, not by Rod. But throught the holy spirit. "I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow." 1 Corinthians 5:6-7 By no means am I belittling the work that is being done here by the team andy by Rod, but my point is that God puts people and situations into our lives to plant seeds and water. But to grow - is God.
And this morning we talked about 1 Corinthians 3:16-23 "(16)Dont you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's spirit lives in you? ...(21) So then, no more boasting about men! All things are yours, wheter Paul or Apollos or Cephas or hte world or life or death or the present or the future - all are yours, and you are of Christ, and Christ is of God."
 

Commission My Soul

You bled with one desire
In all to bring new life
to shatter humanity
death now overcome
forgiven all and one
you've redeemed all humanity
with all our lives we now stand
declaring loudly
that Jesus is God who Saves


Commission my Soul
    with a fire Uncontrollable
for this great cause
    to save the lost
open my eyes
to the reason I'm alive, Oh Lord,
 I'm ready now
                       I'll follow you


Abandon all to be
Your voice, Your hands, Your feet
My life a living sacrifice
Spirit empower me,
to set the captives free
My life is an offering
With all our lives we now stand
declaring love that
Jesus is God who Saves!


Commission my soul
      with a fire uncontrollable
 for this great cause
      to save the lost
open my eyes to the reason I'm alive
Oh Lord I'm ready now
                                  I'll follow you


commission my soul
    with a fire uncontrollable
for this great cause to save the lost
    open my eyes to the reason I'm alive
Oh Lord I'm ready now,
                              I'LL FOLLOW YOU



Over the past month God has blessed me beyond what I will ever deserve.  He made the way for me to go to Mexico.  Within one month of sending out letters to friends and family my trip has been paid for!  It is Not the money I want to share here, but the love God has shown me!  To try and describe this emotion would be impossible!! It has been a very humbling month. 
Praise God!
Recently on the radio I heard a clip from a pastor speaking, he said, "God doesn't necessarily call the equip, but He equips those He calls."  I felt like this man was speaking straight to me, encouraging me that no matter what I do, and where I go to not be afraid. If God wants to move in my life or someones life around me HE will. My "abilities" won't hinder a situation or get in the way.  
"If God is for us, who can be against us?" [Romans 8:31]


As humans we so often keep asking God for a sign, when he has already given us a hundred! Sometimes we know what it is he wants of us, but we're just to scared to take that first step.....that first step has been beautiful.

Change is Good

Today I took some time reflecting on the ways God has changed me, and I am humbled. He sought me out. He led me to a desert. He chased me down, took me down and said, “Be still and know that I am God.” I listened. He picked me up, shook me off and set my feet on solid ground. And from there he has been using my past mistakes to teach me life lessons. He has allowed me to use my past for his glory. Who I was is not who I am, but who I am is because of the way God used who I was to mold me and make me into the woman I am today and the woman I am becoming. “Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift.” 2 Corinthians 9:15

"He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver.” Malachi 3:3

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver."

She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.

The man answered that <yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.>

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"

He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it"

Isn't that just a beautiful image of Gods love for us and how he is at work on us even when we don't "feel" him. He's there! Watching you, not ever taking his eye off of you, so that when the time is right, he will see his own image in you! Beautiful.

Now v. Later

Since I was twelve years old I have known that God has a plan for me to go into missions. And once I embraced God's calling I would usually say, "Yeah, probably later down the road I'll be in a foreign country serving God as a missionary..." But recently I have been thinking a lot about this "topic" and

Who am I to say it will be later??  

 This summer I am [going] to Mexico for eight weeks for an internship with a missionary.  I am so excited to serve, I so desperately want to bring Glory to God's name!  But in this recent pondering, I know that God is preparing me for something to happen, to my heart. And it scares me, but without God what else do I have to live for??  I've been having feelings of unhappiness and uncertainties about school and what I want "to do" with my life.  Why at 22 years of age (when I graduate) am I supposed to start a career that I will be in for the rest of my life? (Yes, I understand that tenure is key as a teacher.) In the Education department they prepare you to teach in a school immediately after you graduate/student teach by drilling in your head that you need to be filling out applications and such. But that's not what I want to do, its not what I am being called to do...I want to use the passions that God has put in my heart, I want to teach in a Spanish speaking country for a few years. And to do that I need a teaching degree, so in a sense I am being prepared to jump straight into what I want to do, but the experience is going to be so different than what I am being "prepared" for. 

Who am I to say later? Who am I to say now?  Who am i to say?
"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord ... " Jeremiah 29:11

When the time is right I plan on saying "Yes LORD" and dropping everything.

The first disciples who were called. Simon Peter, James and John.
"So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him."  Luke 5:11

"Jesus went out and saw a tax collector by the name of Levi sitting at his tax booth. "Follow me," Jesus said to him, and Levi got up, left everything and followed him." Luke 5:27

Luke 9:62 "Jesus replied, No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."

Though I plan on dropping everything and following him, Will I?
              >> Do I? <<
He HAS already asked us to give up everything, [Luke 9:23] "Then he said to them all: If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."
When you ask him to come into your heart because you believe that HE IS GOD, that is the cost. But we don't take on full responsibility. The society that we have been raised in is lax, the hypocritical christian mainly exists in America. In other countries, you either are a Christian or you are not. In many cases, being a Christian means you will be kicked out of your Family, your village, sent to live elsewhere not knowing if you will ever be accepted anywhere else. 

Will I be different?

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father"  Colossians 3:17

Rather than go when I think is right, I will go when God tells me.

But today, I will be a follower of Jesus Christ. Tomorrow, I will be a follower of Jesus Christ.
I will carry his name every day.